Tears of Joy

I used to think tears of joy were only for grandmas, for after you score a goal, for life's happiest moment, etc. Today I realized that lately, tears of joy have been present in my days for about a week. I don't know if I'm just really happy with life in general right now, or because the people around me what been making things really special for me, or that people have been writing really sweet things on inboxes (HAITHEREMAXINE), or seeing people who I haven't seen in eons, or witnessing a beautiful sunset, or reading a letter someone wrote me. All of these things have just made the end of my summer so great. And as much as I'd like to keep that tear lingering in my eye rather than it rolling out, sometimes its okay to let it out even though its cheesy and awkward at times. I guess those tears of joy have just been indicators that I will remember that moment forever because it was so special. I guess I'll have to make some space in my memory to store all of those wonderful moments I've had in the past few days. And I'd like to thank all the people who have caused those tears of joy. You guys are the ones who really mean a lot to me.

Maxine, thank for not judging me, for being there for me, and for being so understanding. Your friendship means so much to me.

To Jasmine, take care of yourself bud. I know it was hard for you to leave but I know it will be easier for you to arrive there and fit in perfectly with your new crowd. Sorry they won't be as fun and as weird as us but I know you will still have great moments with them. I'm so happy that you're finally living out your dream. Have a great time in New York, eat and shop lots in my name. Please don't forget to keep in touch, and jot down TAIWAN somewhere near the top of your to do list. I wish you all the best now and for all of your years at boarding school. Don't forget that you will always be received here in Taiwan with a very big warm welcome from all of your good friends. I will not say goodbye for the world is round and you will return. Oh hai, I think I am turning in to Shan Shan. But seriously, my utmost best wishes for you as you embark on your journey. As I am not in sixth grade anymore and I no longer own a xanga account, I will not address every single fun moment we had. I would just like to say that I am so grateful to have had you in the most important years of my childhood, and for all of the moments, good and bad, that we shared. See you soon buddy.

Enough

I'm dealing with enough. So just stop.
People just don't get it do they.
If you don't like someone, just don't talk about them or to them. That's what I do...
Why is it so hard for people to just not talk crap about someone?

UGH.

Doing Nothing

For a big part of today I just didn't feel like doing anything.
I wasn't sad or anything, I was actually really happy.
But I just wanted to be by myself listening to music and lost in my own thoughts.
I guess I've just been so busy lately and things have been quite hectic.
I just needed a while for doing nothing and chilling.

Later on I met up with Liz and ate Mcds and came home for some more alone time.
Yeah, I admit, I was craving some greasy, fattening, fake-looking food.
I guess I'm just too excited about Friday so I just need time to sit down and wrap my head around everything.
It's actually going to happen.
I'm finally going to see someone who I have been missing for 40 some days now.
That's kind of big for me.

For those of you in need of a new song:
Love Lost- The Temper Trap
I'm obsessed with that song right now.




I really really feel like making a fort right now. I remember I used to do that when I was little.

Lost In Thought

"Not everything that is faced can be changed but nothing can be changed until its faced."

Thank you, you've really helped. I was always kind of scared of you I must admit but you are one of the best listeners and advice givers I know. I'm really glad we talked :) And I hope everything works out for you and him.

And to someone very very special and important in my life: I really do miss you. I'm sorry for everything I have done. Truce? I know you're reading this. Cheer up kay?

Summer Nightssss

Today actually felt like summer. I've just been having a really really bad summer and today changed all of it. I had so much fun today. I realized a lot of things, good and bad, but everything worked out well.

I'm so glad we got to just lay down and look at the stars after dinner. I had always wanted to do that but I just didn't know where and we finally found the perfect place. It was truly amazing. Too bad Taiwan skies aren't as nice as hmmm Arizona skies. Gosh, I miss those. But either way, listening to John Mayer, talking, looking up at the sky, and feeling the summer breeze (so cliche, but it's so true) made everything so much better. It actually felt like summer, it actually felt like everything is going to be okay this year. Thinking about everything and nothing was just so relaxing. I'm really happy right now. But at the same time, I just feel kind of empty right now. I wont soon, but its hard not thinking about it when you're going through a really good moment in your life and you just want to experience it with one person but you just can't. Ah well, everything happens for a reason and there will be other times soon.

I hate to say it... I laughed so hard today I peed my pants... Literally.
I guess thats a sign that I had a lot of fun today... and that I have bladder problems.

Living Your Life To The Fullest

I haven't posted in SO long. It was so hard for me to get internet this summer :(

So what I think is that most people in their life get a period of time, some longer than others, in which they live their life to the fullest. They live without regrets, without worrying about what will happen if they take risks and stuff like that. I haven't lived like that yet and its because I'm not ready. I'm not ready to just take risks and be spontaneous. I know lots of people right now who are living their moment and I'm so happy for them. I'm not worried that I'm not living as a "free sprit" (sorry Nicole, I know you hate that phrase), because everyone gets their own time and I know I will get it sooner or later. I think honestly my parents are having it right now. My brother is having it right now. I see them both so happy. It doesn't mean that if you're not living like that you're not happy, it just means that you're carefree when you're living like that and you're just extra happy with life in general. But obviously you can still be happy without living like that.

I saw Remember Me on the plane. Its such a good movie. So sad, but it made me think about lots of things. Bottom line, enjoy your life. Its short.

I'm off to go running at school.
I know this post made no sense what so ever.
I've got lots of things on my mind, I will post later. I need to vent.

Goodbye