Word

I don't know if there's a word for what I'm feeling right now. I wish I knew the exact word so I could express my feelings. But I don't. I guess it's just so many feelings put into one that it would be so hard to describe it.

Hmph.

Giving Up the Gun

I just felt like posting pictures today. I miss Nicole and her camera. SNAP SNAP SNAP all day. Come back soon!

Lesson Learned

1. I feel like I can't state my opinion. I feel in this household mistakes are looked down on rather than encouraged. In my opinion, mistakes are what shape you as a person and they help you learn to make better decisions in the future. Why are you guys so different from the rest? To everyone I have told my problems to, you guys seem out of the ordinary. I know you do and say the things you do because you love me but sometimes it hurts. I know love is supposed to hurt but not all the time. Lately you guys have just made me feel so bad about myself. I am really trying hard to make you guys happy and trying to make as little mistakes as possible. I wish I had the guts to stand up to you guys and tell you what I really feel and give you my side of things rather than you just lecturing me and telling me everything I do wrong. How about telling me something I do right for once? How about praising me for my grades or my sports. Criticizing someone without giving them positive feedback too is useless. It just makes the push you away. And I hate to admit it, but yes, I am pushing you guys away right now. I am trying hard to be good and make the right decisions but I can't handle trying to do my best whilst at the same time being criticized for it. I know you guys are just trying to make me a good person and not be seen as other as a girl with no morals and values but please, I think I have seen, heard, and learned enough in this family to know what is right or wrong. All I'm asking for is a little bit of leeway in order for me to learn from my mistakes rather than you you guys sheltering me from everything and not letting me learn for myself. When I don't have you in every moment of my life one day, how will I survive? I'm trying hard and so should you two.

2. I learned a lot today. No, not from school. From one of my best friends, my boyfriend. He indirectly taught me that when you get yourself into a crappy situation don't freak out and react whatever way you want. You need to think about what you're going to say because other people have feelings and you should never forget that. I learnt that how you deal with these situations that we are often challenged with should be faced with patience, calmness, with an open heart and with your ears ready to listen. When talking something out, don't always think you're right. The common misconception is that you have to tell that person what they did everything they did to make you feel bad. Wrong. You have to listen to what they have to say before you can share your side of the story. What they have to say is really important and you should just listen to them. Also, when confronting them don't say "you did this, this, this, this oh and THIS." Say it in a nice way. No one likes to solve problems when things are tense and when both people are frustrated. So keep calm. I know I didn't exactly deal with today's situation in the best way. In fact, I was ashamed with how I dealt with it and I'm sorry. Thank you for just dropping it and telling me everything was okay. Sometimes, that's all I need and today was the first time you ever did that and it made me feel so much better about the whole situation. Thank you for being you and for always being there for me no matter in what mood you are.

3. I love Art Pixie's blog!

4. Oh hi there cute elephant. I need to learn how to draw this.

Stop

You just don't learn do you? You don't keep your word either.

It makes me really sad.

Contra

For those of you who haven't had the PRIVILEGE to have listened to this heavenly piece of heaven, please do. I downloaded the album today and it's truly amazing. Before when one of my song providers, Nicole (thanks dear), recommended me this I thought it was trash. HAAAA. For some reason I trust Genius more than Nicole. Sorry brah.

Please do listen to this. You will thank me :)

Goodbye Summer 2010

How boring can a book get? Okay, why do teachers insist on making us read something that is near impossible to understand? Maybe it's just me and I'm stupid and I'm not good enough for honors English or whatever but I think I'm not the only one who is being tortured by this book. So I've just settled for reading Sparknotes even though that is really confusing to read too. I feel so stupid right now...

So, last day of summer is here. How wonderful... not. I'm really not excited for school. Soccer season, yes but school, no. I think I got too used to lying in bed till 12 and not using my brain for anything more than counting coins to buy milk tea and fan tuans at 711.

I plan to spend the last day of summer doing what I wont be able to do for another 9 months. Laying in bed with the ac on, lights off, curtains closed, brain OFF, covers ON, cookies and grapefruit juice nearby, and dreading reading Sparknotes.

Hasta la vista summer 2010.

The Bubblegum Gang's 30 Day Challenge

I don't think I will do all of them. I will DEFINITELY not engage in uploading a sassy picture of me. Because that is for guys. It's kind of sad that I read guy's blogs. But its a change from the usual Le Blog De Betty or The Satorialist-reading afternoons. I think I'll do some when I'm not too busy stressing about school starting.

The Bubblegum Gang’s 30 Day Challenge

Day 1 - You’re in a no holds barred fight with 20 small children. Describe the tactics you would use to defeat them.

Day 2 - Who do you normally choose in Mario Kart? You cannot answer with Yoshi because we all know everyone always picks Yoshi.

Day 3 - Team Edward or Team Jacob? Why?

Day 4 - Create your own Bible verse!

Day 5 - Which Star Wars character would you engage in sexual activities with? Why?

Day 6 - Write a parody for the chorus of your favourite song. You get bonus points if it’s about reproductive organs.

Day 7 - You wake up to find the world overrun with zombies. What do you do?

Day 8 - Combine the most badass animals into one super creature. Describe and name it.

Day 9 - How do you think the world will end?

Day 10 - Which Mean Girls character do you feel is the most like you?

Day 11 - You wake up in the morning and you’re feeling like P. Diddy. What do you do?

Day 12 - Upload a photo of you being overly sassy.

Day 13 - Combine the best physical attributes of your favourite celebrities into one super creature. Describe and name it.

Day 14 - Go outside. Throw a rock at something. Describe what happened.

Day 15 - Tweet or change your Facebook status to ‘Man, Menopause is the worst.’ Post any replies you get.

Day 16 - What physical attribute do you find appealing about the opposite sex that you think most people don’t?

Day 17 - Name your genitals. Explain the reasoning behind your choice.

Day 18 - Which Pokemon do you feel you look the most like?

Day 19 - Upload a photo of you being overly slutty.

Day 20 - You’re able to rewrite the ending to one movie of your choosing. What movie would it be and what would you change?

Day 21 - Google crashes. What do you do?

Day 22 - When you are talking to someone today refer to them as ‘Troy’. When they ask you why you called them that deny it strongly and act as though they are crazy. Describe what happened.

Day 23 - What form does your patronus take when you cast it?

Day 24 - God introduces an eighth deadly sin. What is it?

Day 25 - Upload a photo of you with your favourite shoe balanced on your head.

Day 26 - You wake up to find yourself on the Lost island. What do you do?

Day 27 - Write a letter to your future boyfriend/girlfriend apologising for something in advance.

Day 28 - Write ‘I still know what you did last summer.’ on a piece of paper. Leave it for someone to find. Describe what you did and why you did it.

Day 29 - You get to spend 24 hours as an animal of your choosing. What would it be and why?

Day 30 - You’re given a DeLorean, a flux capacitor and some plutonium and can go wherever you like in time. What would you do? You cannot answer ”I’d go back and not participate in this stupid challenge.” as everyone would answer with that.

Morgan Freeman

Who doesn't love Morgan Freeman, the 73 year old man who's voice can't be any more similar to God's. I saw this on Tumblr. I thought it was quite interesting considering Morgan Freeman is one of my favorite actors.

Preserving Morgan Freeman’s Voice

Morgan Freeman’s voice is one of inspiration and wonder. At one time or another everyone has fantasised about God’s voice being that of Morgan Freeman, and a lot of us are going to be disappointed if God sounds any different. However, Morgan Freeman is now 73 years old, and that has me worried about how the world would recover from his death. Who would you go to when you needed to deliver an important, epic-sounding message?

I propose that scientists begin working on a method of preserving Morgan Freeman’s voice, so that for centuries to come the world will be able to feel inspired by it. If they can capture his voice perfectly then there will be endless opportunities for us to use it every single day in order to brighten up our lives. Here are just a few uses for Morgan Freeman’s voice:

- In-car GPS systems could utilise it. I know I would drive a lot more often if Morgan Freeman was telling me to ‘Turn left in 100 metres.’

- Stephen Hawking can change the voice of his computer to that of Morgan’s. No one will ever make fun of him again…

- Your voicemail recording could be spoken by Morgan Freeman, although I for one know that I would feel a lot of pressure to leave a good message if he was the one asking me to do so.

Credits to: http://thebubblegumgang.com/

Why Why Why

Why should love have to be hidden?
Why does love have to be belong to people of a certain age?
Why do people have to tell you how you have to love?
Why does there have to be so many rules set by other about relationships?
How are we supposed to be happy if so many are interfering and telling us what to do?
Why do people feel the need to judge?


It's so complicated.

Reactions

Sometimes, I'm even disappointed and surprised by the reactions that come out of me sometimes. I've noticed I laugh when I'm scared. Cry when I'm supposed to be happy. Am sad what I am supposed to enjoy a moment. I really have to try to fit my reactions with the situation. I definitely need to stop laughing when I am confronted because it just makes things worse. I guess the only explanation for my laughter is that I am so scared and uneasy about what is happening that I try to do something that I always do in search of reconciliation and to make things go back to "normal". Laughing just makes things worse and to others it seems as if as if you're not serious about the situation and stuff. So I should really stop doing that. I should really stop ruining the moment and crying when I'm happy. yeah, tears of joy are just awesome but sometimes it just ruins the moment huh? And crying always makes you a little bit sad so yeah. Just try to enjoy the moment. Also, I need to stop being sad in good moments. I start getting sad becuase I think about the moment ending or something ruining the moment. I think for this type of reaction just living the moment will be the best remedy. Not thinking about what will happen in 10 minutes but instead, living what's going on that second.

I have been so appalled by my own reactions lately and they have lead to many apologies. One last time, I'm sorry. I guess it's times like these I wish I was more like my brother Rafa who enjoys every second of his life. He lives it to the max and is happy whenever he can be rather than ruining the moment with negative emotions and reactions.

Jackie, just chill.